Mondays

I have a case of the Mondays; although today seems to be more severe than most. I actually got up at 6 am to catch up on my 90-day reading. This lasted about 15 minutes before I gave up and went back to bed. The kids finally had to drag me out of bed at 7:30 am. Do you know how much harder it is to get your day started when no one has made coffee and the kids have to drag you out of bed?

We had a crazy-busy weekend -- and I'm the only one who seems to be exhausted from it! We drove 3 1/2 hours to witness the commencement of my sister from University with her degree in teaching (way to go, Sis!). Drove home in time to catch the end of a graduation party and rest up before a birthday party yesterday. Whew! As I sit here with my coffee, my grocery list, and the laundry I am successfully ignoring, I ponder this verse:

"I am the LORD you God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy."
Leviticus 11:44

Consecrate: to set apart
Holy: different, distinct, set apart

I was created in the image of God. God is holy, therefore I am to focus my attention and energy on being holy: different, distinct. My days feel the same, but God has created me special, just for this very purpose. My kids drive me down the line on the Crazy Train, but God has set me aside as their mom. Some days I wonder if my efforts are for naught, but God reminds me that in this season, I am where I am to be, doing what I am to be doing.

Yesterday in church, we studied Proverbs 3 (5-6 NIV, emphasis mine):

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make your paths straight.

As I focus on being set apart, different, I rely on the LORD for strength and understanding.

How is your Monday?
How do you rely on your own strength?
How can you or do you rely on God for your strength?

One Life

Then the man said,
"Your name will no longer be Jacob,
but Israel, because you have struggled with God
and with men and have overcome."
Genesis 32:28

Like a well-written daytime drama, the book of Genesis is an amazing book to read. Deception, thievery, murder, love, lust, redemption, promise -- and that's all in the first six chapters! Right now, in my 90-day reading plan, I am in the middle of the Jacob (Israel)/Joseph saga.
Abraham (Jacob's grandfather) lied about Sarah being his wife, then slept with her handmaid thinking he was "helping" God fulfill the promise given to him.
Isaac (Jacob's dad) also lied about Rebekah being his wife and was deceived by both his wife and son.
Jacob stole his brother's birthright and received the blessing intended for Esau. He then ran away and married two sisters, one he loved the other...not so much (although I doubt he complained too much as she did give him 5 sons plus another 2 with her handmaid!) In all Jacob has 12 sons by 4 different women. He and his father-in-law played an early form of Survivor: who can outwit, outsmart, outplay, outlast the other in a 20 year battle for Rachel's hand in marriage.

As I read about these amazing people -- amazing because I wonder how they ever thought they could get away with the hideousness of the behavior -- I am humbled. God chose them to give birth to a nation, the nation of Israel. He promised Abraham and Isaac that their descendants would out number the stars in the sky and the sand under their feet. (Genesis 17) The drama plays out much like Days of Our Lives or All My Children or One Life to Live. The legacy left by these men was one of adultery and deceit, yet God was very present in their life. Jacob wrestled with God himself and lived to tell about it.

Even today I find myself wrestling with God. Should I find work outside the home? Should I try to find work I can do from home? Should I TRUST Him to provide us within the lifestyle he has given us? Should I take on more volunteer work or less?
(Thankfully God hasn't pushed my hip out of its socket to remind me of our wrestling match! (Genesis 32))

God's clear message seems to be this: I AM. He was and is and always will be. He has always provided for us, he is providing for us even now and he will never stop providing for us. A gentle reminder that though he allows us to live life to the fullest, he is there to catch us when we fall.

How are you living? Are you living with caution or with passion?
How does God use you?
Have you wrestled with God lately?

Understanding

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make your paths straight.

Where did May go? Can anyone tell me? I seem to have misplaced it somewhere around here. Just last week I was traveling to Idaho to see my family for a combined Mothers' Day/graduation celebration weekend. I was blessed to be with my mom on Mother's Day -- which is rare since we live almost 400 miles apart -- plus the bonus of witnessing her receive her double master's degree (Way to go, Mom!).

So that was Mother's Day and now people are telling me it's June 1. Excuse me? What? Where did the last three weeks go? Yikes! Why is it that we always have the best of intentions? Or is it just me? Every day seems to be filled with "need to's" and "must have's" and "don't forget to..." I have a list daily of, as my dad likes to call them, round-to-it's. As in, "I'll get 'round to it." Laundry, dishes, filing, paying bills, school, play-dates, end of year celebrations, start of barbecue season, were we going to plant a garden in there somewhere?

I find the busier I get the less I lean on Him and the more I lean on Me. Big mistake. Huge! I run around in circles much like a puppy dog or a hamster, not understanding why I get no where really fast. Did I invite her to church? Did I reach out to them in their time of hurt? Did I empty the dishwasher? This is too much for one person. And this is about the time that God gently taps me on the shoulder and says, "Child of mine, when are you going to stop running? I want to help you, but you must listen to my voice."

So, in the quiet moments I can steal away today, I am forcing myself to stop and listen. Listen to the voice that says, "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10a) Yes, there are bills waiting to be paid and laundry waiting to be folded and a childhood waiting to be lived and molded. In the here and now, God is asking me to trust only in Him. Not in my own strength or my lists or my over-bearing guilt! Just Him and me and the Word.

This summer I am putting all my books down except for one. I have challenged myself to reading the Bible in 90 days. Since I forgot today was June 1, I'm a little behind (but the day's not over yet!). I will keep you posted as to my progress. If you would like to join me, go to this website: http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/readingplans/index.php/today?plan=6&version=31
You can read that days passage on the site or pick up your own bible and read through that day's selected text. I believe there are about 12 pages per day, so there is quite a bit of reading. I have decided to put down all other reading to focus on this task. Please pray for me and with me as I begin on this journey. As you can see by this post I have issues with stick-to-it-ivness, lists, must do's, etc. I am praying that this becomes part of my journey, instead of one more thing to do in my day. More on that tomorrow.

In His Love,
Amber

Faith, part II

I have been a follower of Jesus Christ my whole life -- well, almost. I remember where I was and what I was doing when I asked Jesus "into my heart" (Sunday school-talk for accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior in my life). My mom thinks I was 2 or 3, I say more like 5 or 6. Either way, the memory of standing in front of the hall mirror, hands over my heart and saying, "Jesus, I accept you into my heart" is one of my earliest memories. I was raised in a Christian home and married a Christian man. I go to church on a regular-basis and try to dive into the Word daily.

Does this make my life perfect and serene? Ha! Far from it. I know God, the one true God, has given me eternal life through his son, Jesus Christ. Yet, I still struggle with faith, or trusting that God -- the giver of life, master and creator of everything -- knows what he's doing when it comes to my life. This week, I have had to purposefully say, "God, you know what you are doing. I trust in you."

This morning I was reading in Deuteronomy 31. I realized a theme was present and had to do a quick search for related passages. (I use www.biblegateway.com) When I see a theme present, especially in a given passage, I get a little giddy. Our pastor always points out that God does this when it is really important and he really wants to drive the point home. Well, this week I have seen a similar current flowing through my reading: God will take care of me, no matter what.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV, emphasis mine)

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

"No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." Joshua 1:5

God's promise to us: he will never leave us. Never. God is forever, so never is pretty much...well, the opposite end of forever. If you can wrap your mind around, accept the fact, that God is, was, and always will be then it should be easy to move to he will never leave you. I have had some minor trials this week, but nothing that a little mommy-time out couldn't handle (there is a good reason for locks on the bathroom door).

Pick up your Bible and see what you can find in it. Do you see the story of love woven into the tapestry? Do you see God's promise, eternal life, ebbing through pages? I pray you are able to see God's presence in your life today and every day.