"But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." Exodus 9:16 (emphasis mine)
So often as moms, we find ourselves wandering about life, darting here and there pushing our limits of sanity and patience. What am I doing? Where are my keys? You mean show and tell was today!?
After the birth of my son four years ago I knew I had found my purpose. I had finally become a mom. This was what my life was lived for. I had arrived! That thought lasted for all of about two weeks. Then the collic set in, along with the real diapers, the sleeplessness, the feedings at insane hours, and midnight trips to the grocery store for anything which might make the screaming stop. I felt inadequate as a mom, and lost sight of why I was put on this earth.
Fours years and two children later my perspective is finally back in line with reality. A counselor once told me that being a mom is a role I play, along with daughter, wife, friend, etc. I will be a mommy to these little buggers for a short time, and then they will grow up and not need so much of me. What else am I? Who am I?
This I know: I know I have a purpose. I hold onto that belief with all my energy, because if I am here wandering about, filling the void, what is the point? I know I was purposed to be a mom to my kids. I know I was purposed to write. I know this because I have been making the wrong choices for so long that the Creator finally tapped me on the shoulder and said,
"I'm here with you, but you should be going in that direction."
I have tried working in hotels.
I have tried working in human resources.
I have tried working in an insurance office.
I have tried working as an accountant.
I have tried sitting and doing nothing.
Everything has brought me back to this moment. Writing is my purpose, it is my passion (more on that tomorrow). The verse above (Exodus 9:16) is taken from when the Lord was speaking to Pharaoh through Moses. He was once again telling the Pharaoh to release the Hebrews from slavery in Egypt. The Lord told Pharaoh that He (the Lord) could have easily raised his hand against the Pharaoh and wiped him and all his friends off the earth. Instead, he used Pharaoh and his hard heart to show him the true power of God so there would be no doubt.
Okay, so if God chooses to use Pharaoh -- and a man like Moses! -- for his purposes, maybe he has a plan for me, too. I may have only one purpose, and maybe I've been running from it. Maybe I have several. I don't know, and I may not know this side of heaven. My prayer today is that I will live in the moment for my purpose.
(Right now, my purpose is to find out why my daughter is not happy with the cereal and raisins I gave her for a snack.)